From My HeartI need to get these feelings out,
Each sentence waiting in my heart.
But as I type out word after word,
I cannot recall any of my thoughts.
Where is the anger I held so tight,
And the sadness that I buried deep?
Where are all the emotions I sought,
That I had wanted to forever keep?
I no longer feel never ending pain,
It has alas, ended - woefully to me.
I wanted that pain! I still want it.
Because my pain made me feel. Feel!
I knew I was real, because I felt it.
The hard rain of reality, crushing me.
Now I feel nothing, now I am nothing.
I no longer know if I can be happy.
Am I even be human without my pain?
Can something non-human be happy?
I know not any of life's questions,
I cannot begin to know the answers.
But if I did know the answers,
My TearsEager, like autumn, to start anew.
Taking the steps towards tomorrow.
I know I am ready to move on now,
I need to delete you from my life.
But when I go to throw you away,
My hands freeze, my world stops.
Why? I know you're no good to me.
Yet the gentle moments still last.
But like an old and broken record,
Those memories won't stop playing.
Perhaps your feelings were real,
But so were my tears.
GoneNone can bring you back, I cannot discard my pain,
Yet beyond this film of despair I know I do not cry.
I abandoned all of my hopes and dreams long ago,
For I am also gone from the deserted land of reality.
If time gave me a chance, I would learn how to fly,
But if love gave me time, I would look in your eyes.
For although freedom is a wish that I surely seek,
My greatest desire of all is to have you next to me.
FacadeI'm strong, confident, I consider myself smart,
Yet when you do not reply, I am tearing apart.
Underneath the cool composure you have seen,
There is another insecure and scared side of me.
A side of me that is yearning for your approval,
A part that is wondering, am I annoying or dull?
A part that asks, do they hate this outer shell?
A part that wants just to be accepted as herself.
As long as this facade remains, I cannot be calm,
It is only a matter of time when you will be gone.
Through these lies you can finally see who I am,
In this darkness I am a person you cannot stand.
I know waiting for someone is not an easy task,
But if you have patience for me then I surely ask,
That I am given one chance so I can finally start,
To learn how I undo the chains around my heart.
ContaminationLike a disease, your words sully me, contaminating my mind with your temptations.
That evil smile lurks in my thoughts, and I cannot see anything but darkness.
How did this tragedy come to be? I had never wanted to play Juliet.
Yet you closed the curtain for me, with those cursed, tainted lips.
HeyHe waves at me as I approach, greeting my gloominess with a smile.
How can he always be so happy, when this world is so vile?
I hate everything in life, including the leaves on the trees.
But when he smiles I can't help but think this is how it should be.
With one single word. he released my despair, giving me the key.
And one day I know I'll see myself, saying hey as he did to me.
My NameMy name. I wonder, is it important?
It is said actions speak louder than words, so are words meaningless?
My name is over used, it's a worn out cliche.
What if instead of saying my name, he held my hand?
What if instead of yelling my name, he hugged me?
What if instead of thinking my name, he dreamed of me?
If only that were true, then maybe he could see me.
Instead of you.
PainI opened my eyes, but could not see. I was surrounded by black.
My pain was constantly reminding me that I was still alive.
Why does it hurt, when there is no wound? I couldn't comprehend it.
I hadn't yet discovered my broken heart, suffering from your words.
If only time could heal all sadness, but even time cannot heal me.