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The First LapI'll hit the floor, before I know this moment.
Otherwise I'll have to face reality one day.
I'll hide my tears from the faces I once knew.
So my fears cannot find their way back home.
This game of life is meant for the perfect,
So why is a mistake like me playing at it?
Everyone's racing, cutting to take the lead.
As I lie in the rubble of the first lap.
DiesThe passion I once had for life is corroding,
My mistakes keep haunting me, and I'm afraid.
I cannot ever atone, therefore I am unhappy.
Yet something tells me to continue to live.
Why I wonder, it's pointless. I am alone.
I have been cast into this world, abandoned.
All that I loved is gone, only hate is left.
Ah, but you told me to live, so I'm living.
Enough. Isn't it enough, yet? I'm tired...
I just want to go home, into your arms again.
Why can't it all be simple again? Come back.
Come back to the place where we both belong.
Stop leaving me hopeless. Stop leaving me.
For every time you go, the fire in my eyes,
One Piece at a TimeMy selfishness will never fade, just another frozen piece of my heart.
But I'm tired of breaking apart every time I need to find myself again.
There is nowhere to return to if I burn all the bridges along the way,
Yet somehow I still yearn for the past as the future drags me forward.
A stranger to a world of certainty, alone in a void separate from reality,
I am stumbling through the eternal darkness, leaving myself behind,
Crumbling away one piece at a time.
PursueNothing can save you from the past you've committed,
Those memories will pursue you to the earth's ends.
No amount of running away can possibly help you now,
It will always be there, flicking under your eyelids.
Never allowing you sleep, never allowing you peace,
As if hell was on a platter and dumped on your head.
Not even death will wait anymore, it anxiously awaits.
Having no idea what those diluted eyes are capable of.
DeathSometimes I just want to curl up and die,
With days like these, I just cry and cry.
Those who have once known my dark side,
Have all left me, one turn at a time.
I continue on with each of my mistakes,
As I watch all my relationships wash away.
Why is it that I cannot love, only hurt?
With each life I can only crash and burn.
My affections will only last for so long,
Eventually my soul will sing it's song.
So coarse and cruel, it will echo within,
The hearts of those who wish to give in.
And crumpled up, shorted out they will fall,
One by one, singing 'Death waits for us all.'
WaitingWhy can't this pain and sadness disappear?
Why can't my gnawing regret simply vanish?
The mistakes I have made are mine I admit.
But I shouldn't have to hold them forever.
So conflicted, so confused,
Skies once grey that suddenly turn blue.
And grey again as my life continues on.
But I wish those skies would stay the same,
Maybe then I would notice them around me,
As I fall in complete darkness, waiting,
For the sun that I know will never rise.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More